change

Remembering the way things used to be is making me feel sick. Everything has changed, and I don't know if it's because of you or me or just the natural way of things. But I hate where we stand now, and I would give anything to have it back to the way it used to be, when cuddles and hugs and smiles were normal, where we didn't worry so much about the heavy crap, and we could escape the world for a little while and just be. I miss the way we used to be. It was better then. I know I've changed and I'm sorry. I'm hoping that through all the fights, all the crap I've put you through, all the awkwardness that's passed....hopefully, we're still the good friends we started out as, and hopefully, one day, we can go back to being those people we used to be. The ones we were before I screwed it all up. I miss the easy way you used to smile at me, the simple way we could just hang out and not have to say anything at all. The way you just knew when I needed a hug, or a friend, and you were there for me. I miss movie marathons, and laughter, and knowing that no matter how shitty life felt, you were still there. I miss being able to see you 3 or 4 times a week, texting you at 3am just because I could and I knew you would answer, back rubs, and talking about nothing, sleepless nights, and sleeping through days. I miss us.